Momo Says… “Mike and Molly Festers in its Own Sad-sackism”

Song of the Day  :  Stupid Anyway – Les Rita Mitsouko

Momo reviews Mike and Molly, the new sitcom on CBS

A new segment  :  Momo Says…

This is the first (of hopefully many) rants that were written by the very talented and ceaselessly irked Momo Dubrov. If all goes well, you may see some more guest writers in the future.

Mike and Molly, a new series celebrating the morbidly obese, debuts this week on CBS — when asked to comment, CBS legend Walter Cronkite reportedly rose from the dead in anger. While I’ve been accused of being a fatist, I must say that had the show not been yet another ode to American optimism, ignorance, impotence and utter lack of sensuality, I would have thrown my prejudices aside; I would have even bought myself a television set and adjusted my rabbit ears in the hopes of tracking a decent signal on Must-See-Mondays.

Okay, that’s a stretch…but it doesn’t change the fact that this sitcom is unabashedly still a sitcom. What’s wrong with that? Well, nothing in particular…assuming that you’re a philistine.  Just take a look at the New York Times review of the show and, if you are as curious and appalled as I was, you will certainly click on the link to CBS preview.

Had creator Mike Roberts made these two pathetic grinning hefalumps (Billy Gardell and Melissa McCarthy) Rabelaisian fatties with huge appetites for knowledge, a better sense, sexual fetishes and, of course, food, I believe the show would have been a source of controversial catharsis in these crazy economic and political times. Instead, the show continues in the same unintelligent vein of the last sixty brain-dead years of American air-wave history, complete with a wise-cracking black side-kick (Reno Wilson).

This show is symptomatic of the stagnant state of American culture in general : instead of becoming intelligent, arrogant and mature, American media continues to dumb-down, divide and desexualize America. Mike and Molly is another facet of the same trend for which Michael Cera and his slew of pre-pubescent Mr. Congeniality competitors have become poster boys : this horrific trend to glorify laziness, mediocrity and impotence (both physical and mental alike). Rather than working together toward a common solution, these characters wallow in the pathetic impotence of their sappy individuality.

It’s easy to criticize, you say? Yes, of course it is. But I would like to use this opportunity to offer constructive advice in the form of a “sitcom” pitch — my own show that I believe would serve the American people’s needs at this crucial moment. Like Mike and Molly, it’s about rotund middle American problems, but where Mike and Molly festers in its own sad-sackism, my show pushes the envelope in a way that no other has been able to do…

It’s the story of Bobby, a morbidly obese plumber working in a comfortable Mid-western suburb, who fools around with both unemployed women and men, the spouses of whom have managed to find work. Each week, Bobby will enter into a different home in order to satiate his perverse culinary and sexual appetites – screwing and fridge-raiding misadventures. This formula will allow for a wide array of story-lines and will create a hot venue for guest stars : “Helloooo Michael Cera”. To top it all off, instead of being demonized, Bobby’s intelligence and pure passionate drive for sex and food will be seen as a positive Touched-By-An-Angel-ish influence on his lovers. Also, in order to open up the show’s scope to the world at large, perhaps in the middle of the first season perhaps someone’s child will run into trouble while studying abroad in Venezuela, etc…

It may only be a dream, but these days dreaming seems to be a whole helluva lot better than reality…


One Response to Momo Says… “Mike and Molly Festers in its Own Sad-sackism”

  1. M.C. says:

    A plumber who fools around with out-of-work people while their spouses are at work. Isn’t that the plot line of at least 40 pornos?

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