Song of the Day : Luck Be a Lady – Frank Sinatra
We’re not used to dealing with the Juggalo type. You know, those nasty, destructive, freaky-clown-make-upy kids that hang out in abandoned skate parks. Still unsure what a Juggalo is? They’re the scum of the music scene, the harbingers of hate! Most importantly, Juggalos are fanatics of the seemingly satanic acid-rappers the Insane Clown Posse.
Surprisingly, the Insane Clown Posse just revealed through a new song that they are actually Evangelical Christians.
We could have sworn it was The Blues Brothers who said “We’re on a mission from God”, but we’ve been wrong before. Show us what we need to know, prophets!
In all honestly, we should have seen this coming. For the past 20 years, Insane Clown Posse has tricked their fan base of Juggalos and Juggalettes. While seemingly violent and nasty, the rappers Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope are actually God-weilding saints, spreading the belief and love of God and Jesus Christ. According to them, they were only pretending to be brutal, sadistic, evil, maniacal, frenzied, deranged, demonic, crazed, wild, ravaged, unbalanced, and possibly even insane.
Maybe their ideals were hidden too deeply in their old lyrics. Let’s analyze, shall we?
From “Hokus Pokus”, verse 4, line 33-36
Walked in a gypsy’s tent with a food stamp /
And walked out with a magical lamp, yeah /
I met Milenko, he gave me 3 wishes /
That night, I f**ked 3 fat b***hes
It’s a little tough to figure out just exactly what they’re saying, but we’re sure it’s all about taking your grandma to church with you this Sunday. But I’ve always said we’re smarter than the average listener. ICP had to finally get all their ducks in a row and come straight out Compton with their message.
From new single “Thy Unveiling”, verses 1-3 & verse 12
All secrets will now be told /
No more hidden messages. /
This is it yall /
Times up, /
Everything comes out right here /
No need for the reverse talking, /
The truth… /
Truth is we follow GOD!!!! /
We’ve always been behind Him! /
The Carnival is GOD and may all Juggalos find Him! /
May The Juggalos Find god! /
Suck my nuts! B**ch! F**k You! /
Suck my nuts! B**ch! F**k You!
Aha! Finally, salvation! These clowns ain’t so bad after all, eh? Although, we don’t remember God ever telling us to suck anything… oh well. We’re jumping on this bandwagon. We’ve already ordered two dozen Violent J Christmas ornaments and 100 feet of Shaggy 2 Dope wrapping paper. Man, we are going to be going crazy at this year’s Christmas Party – or as our new salvation experts would say, “We in the limo drunk /In the back so let me hit from the back”. Funky!
[Source: UK Guardian]